I am not one to believe in the mindset of victim.
I do not believe we are victims unless we choose to be.
Labeling myself as a victim only leaves me powerless in changing my life.
Horrible things happen to all of us, hard is hard and struggle is struggle. If I sit in the victim place, at least for myself, I sit in the shit. Rather than being mindful of my suffering in order to move through it and then rise above it.
This has always been a common theme in my office. I have said these sentences too many times to count, over and over:
Being our past
You can choose to be your past.
You can choose to be your past mistakes.
You can choose to have all of your past hurts, losses, traumas and tragedies be your whole identity.
Choosing to be more
Or you can choose to learn from your past and move forward.
Or you can choose to embrace your mistakes and try again.
Or you can choose to make your past hurts, losses, traumas and tragedies just a piece of your story and not your whole identity.
You are more than the choices that you've made, You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, You are more than the problems you create, You've been remade.
I realize when the artists are singing, you've been remade, they are referring to Jesus dying for our sins and with this grace we are remade. But as a mental health therapist, even one with my own strong and yet questioning faith, I must meet my clients where they are, faith or not.
Even with my faith, and the amazing grace of Jesus,I think, I also must still choose.
Choosing to be remade
We must choose to be more.
We must choose to be more, faith or not.
And if Jesus isn't your thing, well, then you still have a choice to make. You can choose to be more than the choices that you've made. You can choose to be more than the sum of your past mistakes. You can choose to be more than the problems you create.
You can choose to to be remade. You can choose to not be a victim to your life circumstances, your past hurts or mistakes. You can choose the power to change your life.
Choosing to be remade is my work in ever upward. When I choose to be remade because of and within the grace and love of Jesus, but also because I choose every single day, I choose me. I choose to be more than the woman who cannot have kids. I choose to be more than the woman who survived infertility and lost three babies. I choose to be more than depression and anxiety.
I choose to be remade.
This is my work in ever upward that I hope others can embrace for themselves.
Because we are so much more than those past choices, past hurts and past mistakes. They are just pieces to our brilliant life puzzle, they are just pieces of our story. We must do the work to embrace them all.
Because only then will we own all the parts of our story.
And, only then are we choosing to be remade.
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