To feel alone when surrounded by many is quite possibly the worst kind of lonely. There are millions of us who struggle to make our families. The statistics are enough to take our breath away:
- 1 in 8 couples will struggle to conceive.
- 1 in 4 pregnancies will end in loss.
- 1 in 160 babies will be born still.
We are never alone in this journey, the numbers simply prove otherwise.
And, yet most of us fight all by ourselves, with our voices silenced and shame stealing our light.
This can be the darkness of infertility.
I entered into the infertility world never trying to get pregnant myself due to medical issues of my own. I entered into the infertility world as a mental health therapist who was already pretty open about my own struggles in life. And it is with these two differences, that I entered the infertility world as someone kind of on the outside or at least that is what it felt like a lot of the time.
After the infertility part of my journey I am a woman proven wrong. I am the furthest from alone in this journey as I am surrounded by my fellow warriors. Technically my infertility journey has ended without the desired result of children (I know those words are scary to read), and yet my journey is far from over. As us survivors know, this journey truly lasts a lifetime.
It is only through really using my voice and sharing my story that my chosen family has grown full of my fellow warriors. Through my work in Ever Upward (the book and the blog) I have met some of the most amazing people. People that, even though I may never meet in person, I can truly call my friends, and even family.
It has been this family who sees me, knows me and loves me even though my story scares them because it didn't turn out how we all hope ours will. It has been this family who has been one of the most helpful pieces of my forever healing journey. It has been this family that supports my voice, my mission and my ever upward.
It is this family, along with my loved ones and His grace, that make up the monarch that graces the cover of Ever Upward.
A journey never alone. A journey not broken but coming together whole. A journey rising ever upward.
Speaking is our way out of the darkness.
Your voice does not have to be publishing the book or the huge public blog, it just has to be your voice, especially to your loved ones and to some of the people in your daily life. This is how you will thrive and not just survive the heart breaking and soul crushing journey that infertility can be.
Infertility can make us doubt the very core of who we are. It can make us doubt and question our faith, our bodies and our relationships.
This is the darkness of infertility, the darkest of dark.
It literally has the potential to destroy us.
But only if we allow it. And, I promise if you walk into this work you may actually find your light in this incredibly, damn near impossible, journey. I also promise it is worth it, no matter how you define your happy ending.
But I beg, please don't stand in the dark all alone and silent.
The more we speak the more we heal.
The more we speak the more our light shines again.
And, the more we speak the more compassion and understanding we will receive.
When we speak we are never alone.
When we speak we have one another.
When we speak we walk alongside one another leading each other out of the darkness always rising ever upward.
For more information on what infertility exactly is click here.
Learn more about National Infertility Awareness Week here.