Whenever I get included in anything infertility and loss awareness wise there are three parts of my brain that fire:
Ego – Duh, my story needs to be a part of this.
Shame – Who do you think you are? You shouldn’t even be included, no one wants to hear or is ready for your story and message.
Gratitude – Thank you so much for including me and remembering my scary story is more common than people think or want to admit.
My name is Justine Froelker, and I am the infertility advocate whose story scares the bejeezus out of most in our community.
We tried IVF due to my history of back surgeries and body casts in high school.
We lost three babies.
The money was gone.
Our hearts were broken.
We stopped treatments before we got the babies.
We are not choosing adoption.
We are accepting a childless not by choice, or as I like to call it, a childfull, life.
I am a forever grieving mother who chooses to do the work to see the gifts in everything.
I am happy and sad…you can watch my TEDx talk on that.
I am happier than I ever was before failed IVF because I choose every day to honor my three, and myself, in the work of happy. I realized the infertility journey had left me a shell of who I once was without the ability to ever go back to her, or even the desire to go back to her. I have fought for, created, and received this incredible life, a life that didn’t turn out how I hoped, dreamed or planned.
Infertility is not who I am. A woman without her children here on earth is not who I am.
Continue reading over at Fertility Bridge here.